Moving on, the effects of Porn on your Brain, your
Marriage, and your Sex Life. Pornography is ravaging marriages. In this day and
age, porn is now treated as if it’s harmless, but it’s not. Porn will wreck the
arousal process in your brain and end up wrecking your sex life in marriage.
The effects of porn are devastating. This can contribute to the menace and
problem lots of couples who are desperate to fix their marriages, but they don’t
know what to do. They are married to men/women who never seem to want sex. Or
their husbands/wives never get satisfied. Or their husbands call them boring or
unattractive. And the root of many of these problems is PORN!!!
The most devastating part is what porn does chemically happens
in the brain, the porn use doesn’t have to be going on NOW to have these
effects. A boy who grew up on porn in his teens, and then managed to stop
watching it in his twenties (with occasional relapses) will still suffer from
many of these things.
The good news: There is HEALING! You can rebuild those
chemical pathways to arousal. But first we have to understand effects of porn
to the brain, and thus wreck many couples’ sex lives.
Although, some of these apply just to men, many of them
apply to both genders; because, Women use porn, too!
Porn Makes Regular Intercourse Seem Boring- Let me draw a simple
analogy, if an alcoholic drinks
alcohol for the “buzz”. After a while his/her body begins to tolerate it. Thus,
to get the same buzz, he/she will need more alcohol. And so the alcoholic
begins to drink harder liquor, or drink larger quantities. The same thing happens with porn. Because porn teaches us that sex
is all about the body, and not about intimacy, then the only way to get a
greater “high” or that same buzz is to watch weirder and weirder porn. I think
most of us would be horrified if we saw what most porn today really is. It
isn’t just pictures of naked women like there used to be in Playboy; most is
very violent, extremely degrading, and very ugly.
“Regular” intercourse is actually not depicted that often in
porn, because, it’s all an act (it’s been scripted), most of those actors have
to take hard drugs before they can act that role. So quite frequently the
person who watches porn starts to get a warped view of what sex really is. And
often they start to want weirder and weirder things. Hey!, I’m not against
spicing things up, and I do think lots of things can be fun! But when we’re
wanting “more” because we’ve programmed ourselves to think “the weirder the
sexier”, then there’s a problem.
Porn makes it Hard to
Be Tender When You Have Sex- I have always wondered in all the sex scenes I
have ever watched why people have sex so aggressively, until my mum told me
there is a difference between “HAVING SEX & LOVE MAKING”. This explains why
people who use porn often have a hard time being tender when they have sex. Sex
tends to be impersonal, rushed, and “forced”. I’m actually not saying that all
porn users rape their wives, but porn itself is often violent. There’s no
foreplay. There’s no waiting to arouse someone. It’s just taking what you want,
by force.
Personally, I believe being tender means to loving. It’s to
give and to express affection. Because these things aren’t paired with sex in
the porn user’s brain, tenderness and sex no longer go together. Thus, people
suffer for what God originally wanted us to enjoy to the fullest with our
spouse.
Porn Trains You to Have Immediate Gratification and Have a Difficult
Time Lasting Long- This really got me thinking, because I often hear women
say “Once he releases, he really doesn’t care if I get to my climax”. With
porn, when you’re aroused you reach orgasm very quickly, because porn users
tend to masturbate at the same time. Thus, orgasm tends to be very fast. The
porn user hasn’t trained his body to draw out sex so that his spouse can get
pleasure; his body is programmed to orgasm quickly. Many porn users, then, suffer
from premature ejaculation at the detriment of their spouse’s satisfaction.
Some porn users go to the other extreme when they start
suffering from erectile dysfunction. They have a difficult time remaining “hard”
enough during sex because the stimulation isn’t enough. In their case, orgasm
can take an eternity, if it’s possible at all.
Porn Gives You a Warped
View of what Attractive Is- Sex is supposed to bond you physically,
emotionally and spiritually with your spouse. But if porn has made the chemical
pathways in your brain go haywire, then sex becomes only about the body. And
porn shows you that only certain body types are attractive. It’s not about the
whole person; it’s just a certain type of person.
If a woman gains even ten pounds, then, she’s no longer
attractive, and the porn user has an honest to goodness difficult time getting
aroused, because he associates only a certain body type with arousal. This will
make his/her irritating and we all know lack of sex leads to extra-marital
affairs and divorce.
Porn Makes Sex Seem Like Too Much Work- All
of this combines to often make sex with your spouse too much work. You’re not
aroused; you find your spouse not attractive; sex is blah; and sex requires you
to make an effort for your spouse, while you’re used to immediate
gratification.
Hence, many people who use porn retreat into a life of
masturbation. Even if the porn use stops, they often find it easier to
“relieve” themselves in the shower than to have to work at sex. What a life!
Porn Causes Selfishness- Love is a
selfless act and it’s putting your spouse’s needs before yours. The opposite is
the case with porn, because, all of this causes a spiral of selfishness where
the person ignores his spouse’s needs and is focused only on getting what he wants,
and getting it instantly. Often this manifests itself in other areas of the
relationship as well, where the spouse becomes annoyed if they have to wait for
something, or if they don’t get what they want. Porn has sold them the message:
you deserve pleasure when you want it. You shouldn’t have to work to get what
you want. Your needs are paramount.
Conclusively, People who think that porn is harmless and
simply helps people “get in the mood”, or “relieves frustration”, are kidding
themselves. The chemical processes in our brains are really complicated, and
when you start messing with them, it’s really difficult to develop a healthy sexuality
again. I also believe recovery from Porn addiction is simply by rewiring your
mind and making a deliberate effort to stay committed to yourself
Finally, I remember while growing up as a teenager, my
parents lectured my siblings and I not to watch porn because it’s a sin and we are
not supposed to lust but, stay pure as SEX is worth waiting for. Growing up to
be an adult, who didn’t follow through with my parents’ advice because of
juvenile delinquency, I think we need to start telling teenagers these things.
If you want amazing sex when you’re older, don’t use porn now. If you do,
you’re setting yourself up for a world of hurt. Ask teenagers, “who wants
amazing sex when you’re married?”, and pretty much everyone will put up their
hand. Then tell them: Use porn now, and you’ll make that almost impossible,
without a major work of God in your life. Tell them the truth.
Also try and make sure that in your house everyone–girls,
boys, women, and men–are protected from temptation. By putting security on the WI-Fi
network, laptops and phone, even though, we can’t rely on it alone, because we
need a work in the heart. But if we need to reduce the temptation so that God
has time to work, I think that’s worth doing. I believe there are links or apps
that send emails to people of your choice to tell you when someone has accessed
an inappropriate site. If kids know their parents will get an email if they try
to find porn, or if men and women know their accountability partners will get
emails, they’ll be less likely to surf inappropriate stuff.
One last word–please show LOVE to those who have been
ravaged by porn. Especially if the associations in the brain happened when they
were young, these people often want to change the most, but it seems really
helpless. Rather than pointing the finger in blame, join together to fight the
problem together!
Porn is a very serious issue. It wrecks people’s sex lives, it makes
people selfish, and it ultimately wrecks marriages.
Please Let’s spread the word, and
fight against it.
Thanks as you share and tag a friend!
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